Parenting Posts

I'm not saying you have to go get Nerf guns and shoot each other but find something that your family likes to do together and do it. It will bring your family closer together and create lasting memories. Plus, it's good for children to see their parents relax and have a little fun too. Make it a new years resolution to spend more time having fun together as a family.

·         Snacks: Pack plenty of snacks that are easily passed around and eaten in the car or plane. With pre-sliced apples and baby carrots, there is no need to just eat junk food either. You might want to purchase special treats that the kids have never had before. Make sure to pack paper towels and hand wipes.

Please Don't eat those little chocolate coins!
                                                           
                                                                         
Sherwood's Milk Chocolate Pirate's Gold Coins from China contain
melamine. It is true, Read the full story at the following link from Snopes:        
                                                                         
http://www.snopes.com/food/warnings/coins.asp    

The little chocolate coins are not safe for kids to eat this Halloween.
They are made in China and contain the Melamine that children's deaths were
related to recently.  !!!!!!!

With Halloween coming soon, pass this on to your family and friends.

Let's start with preventing a tantrum. If you have a child prone to tantrums, make sure to catch the child being good and comment on it to them. I haven't met a child yet who didn't like approval.

Choose your words wisely. Instead of saying "no" to a request try saying it like this; "Yes as soon as....." Fill in the blanks with what they need to do. "Yes you can have the candy after you eat something nutritious." More often than not, the word "no" illicits tantrums so avoid saying the word.

Toddler's desperately desire more independence so give your toddler control over some things by giving choices. Let them choose between two outfits or several meal choices. I have a child who occasionally doesn't want to go to bed at night so I give her the choice of hopping like a bunny or riding a horse to bed. She has the choice of how she gets there and I still get the end result of bedtime.

Hide tantrum triggers. If it is close to dinnertime and you know your child is going to ask for the cookies he sees and it is not an option, then make sure the cookies are out of sight. Out of sight out of mind right?

Choose your battles. Think about the request your child has made. Some things really aren't important. I have a child who has gone to school in the middle of winter in shorts and a t-shirt because I chose not to argue with her about what she was wearing. Guess what? I saved the energy from the argument and she learned on her own that it is not a good idea to wear shorts and t-shirts in the middle of winter.

Know your child's limits. Don't take your child to the grocery store when they are tired or hungry. That is just asking for a tantrum.

Those are just a few ideas to avoid the tantrum. Now here are some ways to handle the tantrum.

First and foremost, keep your cool. If you raise your voice and tense up you are just throwing fuel on the fire. Use calm words with your child. Some children can calm down just from the sound of your voice.

Try to understand where your child is coming from. Put yourself in their shoes and choose words that they can understand. Validate your child by saying things like "I know you are sad because you really wanted to play with that truck but John has it now." and then suggest another option.

Redirection and distraction are powerful tools. As in the example above, suggest something else that would be acceptable. While at the park you see an ice cream stand, redirect your play to another side of the park. At the grocery store I try and distract my children from the "I want..." by having them hold my grocery list and check off items as we add them to the cart.

Simply ignoring the tantrum can put an end to it. Children throw tantrums to get a desired result but if no one is listening then what is the point? If one of my children is throwing a tantrum I just calmly say "Let me know when you are ready to talk about it" and then I walk away. However, make sure that you do not leave your child completely alone because this can lead them to feel abandoned which can create a whole other set of problems. Send older children to their room until they can cool off instead of for a specified amount of time. This gives them the power to get control.

Give a great big, firm hug in the middle of or just after a tantrum. This reassures the child that you love them even when they behave badly. I've been doing this with my oldest lately. Sometimes she tries to push me away and other times she just absorbs the embrace and calms down.

Don't be afraid to use a little bribery. Bribery is best when it is done ahead of time and on your terms. Tell your child before that if they are good they will get to watch a movie when you get home.

Most importantly, be consistent! If your child knows exactly how you are going to respond then they are less likely to throw a tantrum.

These are just a few of my ideas. I want to know, what are your tantrum stories?

• Small toys- Take a few of their small toys that they can play with. My son loves to take his Hot Wheels while my daughter likes ponies or babies. Remember to sanitize the toys when you leave to clean off any germs they picked up.
• Crayons- Take crayons and stickers to decorate the paper on the exam table in the room.
• Books- You might consider taking some books that your children like to read.
• Snacks- Depending on when your appointment time is, it might run over into a meal or snack time. If you have snacks on hand you can avoid the melt downs associated with hunger. Make sure it is a snack that won't leave a big mess.
• Magazines- Most offices have a stack of magazines. I sometimes hand each child a magazine and send them on a scavenger hunt to find different objects in the magazine. For example: find a purple flower, a ball, or a red car. This can keep them entertained for a while just make sure the objects aren't too hard to find.

These are just a few of the things I have tried.  I want to know what you do to help pass the long waits.  Please share your thoughts and ideas.

"Perhaps most significant of all classrooms is the classroom of the home. It is in the home that we form our attitudes, our deeply held beliefs. It is in the home that hope is fostered or destroyed. Our homes are the laboratories of our lives. What we do there determines the course of our lives when we leave home. Dr. Stuart E. Rosenberg wrote in his book The Road to Confidence, 'Despite all new inventions and modern designs, fads and fetishes, no one has yet invented, or will ever invent, a satisfying substitute for one's own family.' "