HomeMakerEtc.com

A blog offering tips to make life as a homemaker easy and fun.

Marriage Posts

Christians and Divorce

Divorce seems to be a common practice these days and chances are, you know at least one person who has gone through a divorce. Divorce is not limited to one culture, country, or race. Christian religions, who have long believed marriage to be sacred and a bond not to be taken lightly, are seeing an increase in divorces among their sects. Is it because today men/women are no longer expected to stay in abusive relationships because they are married?  Or is the reason the “taboo” that used to be associated with divorce is dwindling as more and more divorces occur? I believe many people today go into a marriage knowing that if it doesn’t work out they can always get a divorce. The attitude used to be that once the decision is made it is final.

 In most cases the decision to get divorced is a difficult one. I know several Christians who have been through a divorce and one of the main problems they have after the divorce is the judgment place upon them by other Christians. Remember, it is not for us to judge. We should love and support one another.

 I found a website, christiancanvass.com, which briefly discusses divorce among Christians as well as other issues plaguing Christians today. It is fairly new so there is not a lot there yet but check back often to find articles related to divorce, premarital sex, cremation, and basic Christian beliefs.

Keeping the Romance Alive

I think keeping the romance alive is something every couple struggles with at one point or another in their relationship. There comes a point where we just go through the routine of life, get up, go to work, take care of children, do the things around the house, and go to bed just to start it all over again. We get so caught up in our own lives and needs that we forget about our partners. If you find that you are at a point where you are not getting the romance you need stop and ask yourself if you are giving the romance your partner needs. Romance is reciprocal, you get what you give. When you get to a "dull" point try doing this:

 

  • Make a list of 10 things that your partner can do to show he/she loves you. Have your partner make a list too, of the things you can do for him/her. You will find that men and women feel loved in different ways. Men tend to feel love with physical expressions like a kiss, or embrace. Women tend to feel love by words like actually saying "I love you" and by actions like notes or a phone call.
  • Share your lists with each other and discuss why you put what you put on your list.
  • Make it a point everyday to pick at least one thing from your partner's list and fulfill it. Do not repeat the same thing more than once a week.

I promise you that as you do something every day for your spouse that shows them your love, you will receive the same and the romance in your life will increase. I have experienced it in my own relationship as well as seen it in those around me.

 

What are some of the ways you and your partner keep the romance alive?

 

Balancing Work and Family Life

BalanceSo after a week my life isn't completely balanced out yet but it is significantly better. For some of you, work might be paid work and for others, work is housework. No matter what your work is, you need to have balance so you can have a happier and healthier you.

 

First you need to set a goal.  What is your ultimate goal for you? Is it to have a happy/healthy family? Is it to see your kids grow into successful adults? Is it to have a home that others will feel welcome in? As you make decisions think about your goal and ask yourself how your decision will impact your ultimate goal.

 

Next, you need to determine what your values are. A value is defined by relative worth, merit, or importance. Sometimes our values can conflict with each other. For example, you might value getting to work early but you also value seeing your child off to school. When you are faced with conflicting values, look at your goal and choose which value is more important and act accordingly.

 

Setting priorities and managing time are two of the most important aspects of achieving a balanced life. Determine what you need to accomplish and when and write it down. Keep organized. My biggest problem is prioritizing. I spend a lot of time working on things that don't move me closer to my end goal. You may have daily priorities, weekly priorities, monthly priorities, and yearly priorities. Sometimes you can combine a couple of priorities and manage time better. Two of my priorities are spend individual time with my children and fold laundry. I can accomplish both of these by having a child work with me to fold the laundry. My child learns a skill and we have time to communicate with each other. On occasion, I have conflicting priorities. I like to have my kitchen cleaned before I leave the house but some mornings I haven't got it done and I need to leave to Yoga class, another priority of mine. When this happens I have to look at my overall day and determine which priority will benefit me most for the day.

 

The last thing to remember is to just let go. We can't be supermom/dad all of the time. Last Friday I realized I was trying to do too much at once and needed to let go of something. I chose not to post a new blog post that day and instead used the time to catch up on some much needed housework. If you are a mother you know guilt. Don't feel guilty for letting something go to achieve more balance.  It is a waste of energy and time.

 

When, not if, you find your life out of balance, take a step back, look at your overall goal, reassess things, and make adjustments. The sooner you do so the better off life will be for you and your family.